I hate asking for help, I never have done, I’ve worked my business up from scratch every time I did book cover treated my self to new prop, every few years if got really big job on managed to sell my camera to get upgrade. I’ve been saving for driving lessons thats out window, Desperately want to get passports for kids as they have never been out of country or on holiday not in UK, I know there are far more people in worse of places than me worse of conditions thats what my work is about, I became photographer completely by accident i was a cleaner before sometimes i sit here with hands in head wishing I still was, good exercise, human interaction, leaving house, not glued to desk and money.
It hasn’t been an easy journey and what i’m about to say i don’t say in interview’s after having my second child and getting my camera at same time, they found tumour in me they didn’t want to tell me while pregnant as was already very sick and at risk of loosing Theo (gift from god in greek) because he was didn’t pick a name for him till he was month old, any was after thinking i was going to die not the first time in my life i have amazing guardian angel) i was more scared of leaving the kids that dyeing. I went through all that on my own as didn’t have any support, luckily the tumour was benign.
I was looking after the kids and every night photoshopping every min i got till 2/3 in morning (totally self taught never even done tutorial) then getting up taking Estelle to school and looking after Theo, i moved here to be near my nan, i ended up being her carer and she died from lung cancer that was just before i had Theo so felt very alone after moving from Catford/Lewishem, my mum would pop round once a week help me do the shopping as we didn’t have car, then it happend i won my first competition on internet after loosing first one out of over 300 people, my mum was round i was jumping up and down i won, little did i know she had come round to tell me she had cancer, she took me in garden and told me i thought it would be like me not my nan, but it wasn’t. I took her photo with kids 2 days later, and one horror one with her screaming and that was the last time i saw her, not lying in a bed dyeing, i got photo of her hand in the hospital but always been to upset/guilty to upload it, i was pain in ass ever since i was little so got to deal with that now rest my life, she was given a year, but was so fast probably the best for her we had like just over 4 weeks she died week befor her birthday. This isn’t get violins out pour me, it’s all relative, kids go through worse than that, i’m blessed to be in UK let alone anything else.
I was in relationship with kids dad but went to hospice on own, went through cancer scare on own, my nans death on own, mums funeral on own, my early photos are just me kids and him as he didn’t let me photograph anyone else and i not even going into everything else here cause that not fair on no one just to say it was hard with kids, deaths (of my old friends to) and feeling so alone, but photography was my saver and as he said “my pretend friends on net” but they weren’t pretend as still friend with them now and they have ben more supportive, because of one of these so called pretend friends I was allowed finally onto facebook which more than helped my work take off. But now he’s gone i can photograph who i like but i get no child maintenance, i’ve had to break downs from literally working self into ground and I lost baby.
So this job I have to do it everything i’ve been through I can’t give up now, all the support from everyone on internet, every time a mag or book cover came out i was never really happy as upset couldn’t make my mum proud, but just been nominated for book cover award and both my kids were jumping up and down cuddling me I was like wow there proud so now when i do something i can’t show my mum i know my kids are proud (even if my spelling and grammer does drive estelle mad lol)
ANY WAY to the point i raised more money for charity than i actually earnt last year and i did have make shift studio was old bus shelter with back drops hung up, but my models still had to freeze, now that was destroyed in storm i have nothing but back drop like going back 4 years for what!! struggling to keep my head above water, A very kind fan who won shoot set up this funding page for me as she new i would never ask (and she has now froze twice for 2 shoots lol), plus if it’s getting darker or raining thats it i just cant photograph. I’ve found the cheapest quotes possible for conservatory and there around £5,000 with plug sockets, THIS is my dream beyond words and i know with all bills and everything else i will never afford this, if just every one that read this shared and donated £1 i would be so happy and i could maybe reach my goal and i will do everything i can to say thank you to Alexandra Johnson setting this up xx
So many people use my work for tattoo’s totally free of charge if you could maybe donate that would be amazing too huge thank you for all your support and reading this if you managed it i think more than i’ve ever written and thats only a tiny bit about my journey, let alone what i went through to have the mind to make this work befor i had kids!! thank you thank you, will be spell proof read later and corrected and photos to add x
HERE IS LINK IF YOU COULD POSSIBLY HELP DONATE
OR HERE IS MY E-BAY IF INTRESTED IN SIGNED PRINTS OR OTHER ITEMS SELLING TO RAISE THE MONEY HERE
I’ve given away more shoot’s than I’ve sold x
Me and my daughter (she’s 14) making jewellery to sell to try and help.
(Small selection as there are so many) So many people have my work tattooed and so many tattoo artist use it, I make no money from this but am honoured people would have my work on there skin and some of the people who have had the work tattooed it’s meant so so much to me a few pieces are very special to me. If you are tattoo artist or have my work inked on you would be so grateful one guy who has 3 of my images, amazing guy he bought a shoot and donated money to this fund x